A Rough Draft

One Rough Draft of "A Rough Draft"

Crumbled sheets fill the wastebasket.  Printouts line the desk.  Drafts “long discarded” - lay in piles on the floor.  Hand-written scribbles in the margins.  Misspellings circled in red. 

Each reveals its own evidence - of the task at hand. 

A "work in progress" is what they called it.  A “rough draft” is another name.  To most, it looks a mess.   The gaps are many.  The ending is yet undone.  Parts of it flow well.  Others are just not right.  To anyone, but the author, it makes little sense.  

While the draft remains drafty, and completion is far away, there is a flicker of hope.  There’s the whisper of a message.   There’s an ebb to the flow.  Maybe, just maybe, it is closer to being finished, than it seems.  While imperfect, it has promise.   There’s a heartbeat of promise – that lays deep within its soul.

My "Happy Place"

From my experience, writing is time-consuming.  It’s tedious.  And, it's really hard work.  Endless edits, revisions, and proofreading go into any work that is ultimately "published" for others to read.    Much like building a house, writing is a process – with stages.  A story is built.  It’s assembled, and put together.

At its core, writing is precise.  Nuance gets carried only by words, pictures, and graphics.   Absent are the gestures, body language, tone, and inflections that come when we speak.  Because of this, writing can be challenging.  Clarity can be elusive.  Capturing the intended meaning can be tough.  But, the transferring of a story; the sharing of a thought; a moment of inspiration, can be a very precious reward. 

These days, I'm learning a lot about rough drafts.  There’s no doubt of this.  This is my 39^th post, and I have a healthy trail of drafts so far in my wake.   

I am also learning that life is a lot like a “rough draft” as well.  It has seasons and cycles. “Learning from your mistakes” implies that “do overs” happen.  Circumstances may repeat themselves.  Every new day becomes a chance to make revisions to the draft.

It has been a year and a half that I have been posting “Reflections in the Mirror”.  Thanks for following my journey so far.  It has been an intensely spiritual experience to write down my story.  I highly recommend for you to reflect on your own.  Even just the listing of timelines of things that “happened” to me has been helpful to recall later on.  Timelines have created a context for each memory that is told. 

With each story, I have had to wrestle with events surrounding them.  Did I really encounter God?  Is there really a purpose why God made me?  What unique message or perspective has God given to me – so that people can “see” him in me – and encounter him themselves. 

So far, in the telling of my story, I am at the age of 32.  At that point, I have gotten through one “rough draft” – so to speak.  I have gotten through a peak and a valley – an ebb and then a flow.  I’m starting to get some shape to the story and develop a “track record”.  Some water, now, is underneath my bridge.  

I have started to figure out my design: my personality and my traits.  I’m an introvert, a hands-on learner, and an intuitive decision-maker.  I am a jack-of-all-trades, rather than a specialist.  My gift-mix is starting to emerge.  Patterns develop: I tend to get experience before I get a credential.  In 14 years as an adult, I have dabbled in three careers: camping/youth ministry, warehousing, and teaching ESL. 

Recently in my story, I’ve gotten a life partner - who herself is an extrovert, and an analytical decision-maker.  Lisa is God’s perfect match for me.  On top of it, the drive and passion to travel and to learn by doing doesn’t slow down.  In fact, it is becoming much more pronounced in the years to come.

At the age of 18, once I made the decision to make God a priority, I went through a season of developing skills, networks, and relationships.  I began to accumulate experiences.  And, I started wrestling with life, God, and character stuff. 

Still, when I was 32 years old, I had no clear purpose.  I stumbled over the idea of “calling”.  The concept was unclear.  At this point, I still saw calling as a job to pursue, and not a person to become.  I was clueless about any life messages developing.  I couldn’t tell you why God made me.  But, I sort of started noticing that I was open to transition.  And, I was feeling comfortable with lots of change.  Hmm! 

While I can articulate my primary life message today as “God can be trusted in all life’s transitions”, this message is barely peeking through when I was 32.  God will hone and shape it often before I turn 62.  Stay tuned!

Many have asked if these stories will someday be in a book.  The answer is yes.  At another level, this blog has been “a rough draft” for a book down the road.  The title will likely be Refections in the Mirror: Looking Back to See Ahead, God Can Be Trusted.  The book will be an interactive autobiography – a concept I’m not really sure exists.  The goal behind telling my story is for others to see how I discovered my life purpose.  Each “chapter” will have a handful of coaching questions to help others unpack their own life purpose.

While I have enjoyed sharing my story, my story isn’t special.  Let me say that again.  My story is NOT special.  We each have our own special story.  But, what IS special about my story - is that it is finally being written down.  It can now be transferred.  Primarily it can be transferred to me and Lisa.  We have grown immensely in our walk with the Lord and each other through the telling of this story. 

It is also my hope that the telling of my story gets transferred on to you that it helps you to pause and reflect on your own journey, your relationship with God, and his purposes for making you. 

Through the writing of this story, I have been reminded, life is “a rough draft” for eternity.  The final product is still coming.  Be encouraged. Accept when the drafts are rough, messy, imperfect, and unclear. 

It’s the sign of “a work in progress”.  It’s a rough draft – and the author isn’t done writing your story yet.

 

For those following my Calling Journey:

Within the context of “being coached for my life purpose”, and my story so far, I have unpacked the first of the stages and valleys found in The Calling Journey.  I am through: the decision to make God a priority in my life (Lordship); the stage of Natural Promotion; and a first major valley: the Valley of Identity.  (For more on this, see my stories “Reflections in the Mirror: The Story Behind theStory”, and “Reflections in the Mirror: The Calling Journey”.)

In the next 15 years of the story, as Lisa and I begin to approach 50, we will go through another cycle.  In The Calling Journey it is called “The Preparation Stage”, and for us it’s about 11 years long.  In my story, I refer to this group of stories as “The Straightaway”.    The “Preparation Stage” is then followed by a deep four-year valley.  In The Calling Journey it is called “The Valley of Wholeness”.  I refer to ours as “Carr Trouble”.  This combined peak and valley is yet another “rough draft”.  And, wouldn’t you know it, there’s still more to come after that.

Note:  I love coaching anyone in identifying his or her life purpose.  If you are interested in knowing more, check out the ALIGN Coaching & Ministry Support website, or just write to me about what God is doing in your life.

 

Next Time: The Pause.

 

Photo Credits: The Carr Collection