Driven to be Average: Part Two

From “Driven to Be Average: Part One”

After graduating from high school in 1972, I followed an “average” course.  I went away to school.  I worked, studied, dated, traveled, and generally tried to find my way….

By the time I had entered into my 20's, I had conditioned myself to seek the middle.  And, I was mostly content to be there.  Yet, my passion to travel, and desire for “hands-on learning” were beginning to stretch me beyond what was comfortable.  These two things were “itches that I needed to scratch”.  They were latent motivational forces that began to be stirred.

In the process, my thinking about myself began to get a bit stretched….

“Driven to Be Average: Part Two”

In 1984, I turned 30.  And, I found myself in mainland China teaching English to a group of educated professionals.

China had been a closed country prior to 1979.  But in the early 1980s, began to slowly open its doors to educators and professionals from the west.  Because China had been closed for 35 years, there were times when I travelled throughout the interior of China that I was the first blonde-haired, blue-eyed person that many had ever seen.

While the major cities became accustomed to seeing “blonde foreigners”, it was a different story for smaller cities in the rural countryside.  Travel to these areas was restricted.  Special permits and red-tape were necessary.   So, reactions to my “appearance” could be paparazzi-like.  It was not uncommon to have concentrations of people stop and watch.  Some would point as they followed my movements.  If I was stationary for long – like waiting for a train at a station - groups would gather.  At times, individuals would encroach into the “boundaries my personal space” – and simply stare.  That was a bit unsettling!

I came to appreciate rainy days.  I could wear a rain poncho and be incognito.  It drained me to always be stared at; to have my hair touched while on a packed bus; and to never blend in.  Wearing a poncho was a temporary reprieve.  I could momentarily slip back into being average.  I have to say though, that I did have an ornery moment or two when I would step into the shop of an unsuspecting shopkeeper and whip off my poncho – to the wide-eyed gasps of those in the shop.  Surprise!  They were not expecting someone who didn’t look Chinese.  I certainly wasn’t what they were expecting to see.  I didn’t look “normal” to them.

In addition to teaching English as a “foreign language”, I was also encouraged to teach about American culture.  I clearly remember this one day.  It was a dark dreary “winter” day in southern China.  I was with a class with 14 students. In China, anything south of Shanghai is considered to be south, and anything north – is north.  Now while that may seem straightforward, there is an important distinction.  In the winter, cities in the north were provided with indoor steam heat by the municipal government - once the temperature dropped below a certain level.  But, centralized heat was not provided for cities in southern China.  So, in mid-winter, temperatures could occasionally dip below 60 outside.   It wasn't any higher inside – either.  It was normal to teach in a coat, scarf, and gloves.  I was always cold during those months.  This was far from being normal for me.

My primary classroom was on the third floor of one of the newer buildings at a normal university in southern China.  Now “normal” is a “British-influenced-educational-system-distinction”.  It implies that the university is a teacher training school.   For me, I just figured that in the law of averages, it was normal for an average guy like me to end up in a normal university.  So, in the midst of talking about normal American holidays, customs, values, and culture in general - the question came up – “Are you a normal American?”  “Are you average?”

Based upon my general quest to be “average” I figured the answer was a no-brainer.  Yes, of course, I am an average American.  Why not, I had been on a life-long quest to be average.  I was successful in public school at being average – so it must carry over to life in general, right!   Hmm?

Before I answered, I needed to think.  So, I stalled.  Being an intelligent guy, I decided to flip the question on them.  I asked, “Are you average Chinese?”  Well, the answer was surprising.  Since, China was still in the process of opening up to western travelers, only the cream of the crop got released to learn English from “foreign experts” – which was the designation of the Chinese Visa in my passport. I was an “expert”.  This group was highly educated, and had influence.  It also meant that some of the students were active members in the Communist Party.  These regularly attended Communist Party meetings, and activities. So, while the students shared some common Chinese values, this group had status and opportunity. They were not laborers, shop keepers, nor bus drivers. They were not average.

It was at that moment that I had to come to grips with my definition of average, and honestly reevaluate my perception of myself.   As I thought about it, I realized that my faith and zeal to go live in a recently closed Communist country, probably wasn’t mainstream.  My wanderlust to travel on my own for two months - with just a backpack and a wad of reminbi - through the interior of China and Tibet to places that had not seen a foreigner before me – probably wouldn’t strike an average American – as being average.

I had to step back when I answered my students and say – there are some areas in which I am average.  I do share the values of individualism, choice, and task-orientation, but there are other areas in which I am not.  Like some of my Chinese students who were active members of the Communist party, I was an active member of my faith.  I regularly attended meetings, and my faith was at the core of my beliefs.  

It was at that moment, I learned something valuable about myself.  For the first time in my life, I began to wonder if I was as average, as I had thought I was.

​That day in southern China was a turning point for me.  While my tendency had been to drift and intentionally seek to be average, something changed.  I discovered that somewhere along the way, I had started to drift into some very unique experiences.

At my core, I’m still convinced that I am pretty average.  I am balanced, even-keeled, a “jack-of-all-trades”, and I tend to shy away from the limelight.  But, experiences like living in China profoundly affected me.  While it took another 30 years before I could articulate it, that moment in China was significant in realizing that God uniquely made me for his purposes.  It also reinforced to me that God uses average ordinary people to do his extraordinary work.  Why?  So that He gets recognized – so that He gets the glory.

That’s my hope.  I hope it is yours too.

Next Time: “Off the Mountain, and into a Valley”



Photo Credits: 
Top, Third, & Bottom: Carr Collection
Second: Fei Teng