A Sudden Fork in the Road

Decisions!  We make them all the time.  Lots of them!  According to Google, the brain processes 35,000 choices on a daily basis.  Whew!  It makes me tired just trying to “decide” if I agree. 

All I know is that as a young man in my early twenties, the only decisions that I truly pondered were the “biggies”.  You know - choices that I thought had long-term and obvious consequences.  Things like choosing a spouse, a home, a university, or a career. Those were the ones I focused on and prayed about.  Sure, I prayed for health, relationships, and activities for myself and others, but my perspective was pretty narrow.  To me, I only saw God at work “in the big stuff”.

At that time, I thought it was crystal clear when I was making a “life-transforming decision”, and when I was not.  It hadn’t even dawned on me that seemingly insignificant decisions could also have a long-term life-altering impact: positively or negatively.  Certainly, I didn’t think or pray about them.

There was one day in 1976, however, when the trajectory of my whole career-path started to shift.  It was like a fork in my road – a “game changer”.  Yet, at the time, the initial decision was so seemingly inconsequential that I didn’t even realize I was making it.  It was just a knee-jerk reaction.  But, it was the “first domino to fall” in a chain of events.  And over time, I have come to realize that without this decision, my life-path would be radically different than it is today.  And, God used my childhood friend, Steve, to play “the pivotal role”.

Of all my on-going friendships, I have been friends with Steve the longest – since 1959.

It started in Kindergarten – at church.  My parents became Christians when I was five years old, and we started going to the same church as Steve’s family.  Year after year, Sunday after Sunday, the same group of boys was together in the same Sunday school class.  There were four of us who formed a bond early on: Steve, Chuck, RJ, and me.

The initial motivation behind our bonding was Sunday afternoons.  It was sort of a routine. Between Sunday morning church and Sunday evening church, our parents would let us play together at one of our houses.  Eventually, things like sleepovers, youth group activities, and summer camp got added.  Then, as we began to get our driver’s licenses and own vehicles, the list of things we did together grew.

    

But, after graduating from high school, things naturally started to change.  While RJ and Chuck stayed in town, Steve and I went away to school.  Both of us went to schools which were an hour and a half away – but in opposite directions.  We tried to stay in touch – but each of us began to drift our own way.

In 1976, four years had passed since graduating, and Labor Day was approaching.  Steve and I talked on the phone and decided to try to get together to get caught up with each other.  We were both on the cusp of a major life transition, and we were both trying to figure out – what’s next? 

Steve and I had each finished our respective schooling.  Summer camp season was over and I had just finished my third summer as a camp counselor. I was looking for a year-round job at a camp, or something similar.  I was also dating someone who WAS in Christian camping full-time and year-round – and we had been dating for a year and a half.  At the age of 22, I was starting to consider something long-term with her.  So, as the summer ended and September loomed, I was looking for a job, a career, a ministry.  And, I was open to about ANYTHING!

 

Since Steve and I had a lot to talk about, we looked for a whole day to meet that would work for both of us.  But, there was just one problem.

 

After looking at our options, we decided that we could work around the one scheduling conflict that Steve had.   It was a job interview that he had in a city an hour and a half away.  So, being the young multi-taskers that we were, Steve suggested, “Why don’t you come with me?  It’ll give us time to talk in the car.  I can do the interview.  Then, we can do something in the city afterwards.  How’s that sound?”

Without any thought, I proceeded to make the “first decision” that would fundamentally affect my career-path – for the rest of my life.  I would like to say that I was deeply praying for God’s direction, but I certainly wasn’t praying about “this decision”. Because, I didn’t even realize I was making it.

 

On the spot, I decided, “Sure, why not?”  And with that answer, the “first domino fell into place” as I drifted towards this “sudden fork in the road”.

The day arrived and we yacked nonstop while we drove north.  We found the address for the interview which was a ranch-style home with a tan brick exterior. It was obviously a residence, and not a business.  Steve walked to the front door.  And, once the door opened, the situation began to immediately migrate “outside of my comfort zone”.  I had planned to wait outside, but it was hot out, and there was no waiting area.  So, I was asked to come inside the house.  The setting was informal, and to me it appeared that the interviewer was just being polite.  So, I accepted the hospitality.  We all came in and sat down in the living room.  And, without a lot of preamble - the interview began.

It was about 20 minutes into the interview that my “comfort zone” really started to go off the charts.  At that time, the interviewer, who was the founder of the organization, turned to me and said, “What about you?  When could you start?”  At that point, any and all extemporaneous thinking capabilities I could muster promptly fled out the window.  I froze up.  Then, I stammered something like. “Oh, I’m not here for an interview.  I’m just hanging out with Steve.”  And then I added something like, “I don’t know, I’ll have to think about it.”

    

In my mind, I was wondering, “What in the world have I gotten myself in to?  What was this organization?  What was this job?  Where is this place he keeps talking about?

 

Now, Steve had much more of a clue about the organization than I did.  He should.  It was his interview.  He had explained to me earlier that this was a “twelve-month-long school for troubled teens”.   “Huh?  What’s that?” I asked.  He told me that his younger sister had had problems a few years earlier, and his family had sent her to the school – and it had dramatically changed her life.  He said that the school was looking for teachers and other help, so he wanted to check it out.  He also said that the commitment was for nine months – and the organization covered expenses, plus a small stipend.

Now I have to say that after my initial stammer of “I don’t know, I’ll think about it.”  - the next bit of information got my attention.   For a young guy trying to find his way, it was the deal-maker.  I asked, “Now, where is this, again?”  The founder of the organization said, “It’s in the Dominican Republic?”  I probed a bit and asked, “Where’s that?”  And, he responded, “It’s on an island in the Caribbean.”

 

Now, I am sure I hesitated, but I don’t think it was for long.  In fact, it couldn’t have been too long because in less than four weeks, I had gotten my passport, and I was flying to the Dominican Republic.

  

As I reflect on it, the decision to choose that particular day to be with Steve, and go to this interview radically changed the course of my life.  As I look back at it, it was a pivotal decision.   It sent me down a path of cross-cultural ministry, and international missions and travel that has been fulfilling – which nowadays seems normal.  My time with Steve could have easily happened on another day.  It could have easily not included the interview.

It was years later that it dawned on me just how significantly God was working that day I agreed to go with Steve.  I started to see that God is just as active in the “small” decisions as he is in what I considered to be the “biggies”.   I also began to see that he is always at work, even if I am not aware of it.   

And, He wants to be trusted and be a part of my decisions – all the time.

Note:  I ended up spending two years in the Dominican Republic (DR).  I lost the girl, but I found my way!  The time in the Dominican Republic profoundly changed my life.  I watched how crossing cultures can have a powerful impact on people.  I was one of them.  I began to see more of how God is at work in the world.  I also began to see how He was working in me, and how he was shaping me.

Steve – He was in the DR just under a year, but he found his girl.  I know.  I was in their wedding.  Thanks Steve - for the years of friendship, and faithfully being used of God throughout my life.  You are a blessing.

PS: As I look back on my life, I have noticed that there are a lot more “seemingly inconsequential decisions” happening, than  I had ever thought.  Stay tuned.  Another one shows up four stories from now.  It is called “Just Check the Box!”  If you liked the theme of this one, you are not going to want to miss that one.

PSS: Yes, I went south, and not west – this time.  But, do note that the DR is located in the West Indies.

Next Time: Downshifting

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